is the home of the orginal Digital-deviance BUT is no lon ger avaialble





http://fuse.easyjournal.com/

So I found this on the web and it sort of summed me up ~ not that it is that simple.

Just got off an orgy of twittathon and discovered that it can take over your life.

Not sure if I really want to tweet.. "am cleaning my teeth / just got dressed/" but in terms of getting a feel for what is going on around you .. it's pretty stunning.

Not since the invention of the printing press do I think that so much empowerment has been given to people. Even now authority is scheming to limit and control because , quite frankly they are scared by what it can achieve.

Of course they sell this as in our own interest to "protect" us from harm..

Well thank you very much Mr Po-Faced Authority ... I can look after myself Im grown up now and what scares you is that I CAN THINK, assess and make an informed opinion ... tough shit mate your time is limited.


Immediacy of this kind of communication and the extended conversations appeal to my randomised thinking processes .... and out the social conventions of " how are you / nice to meet you ... etc "



Weather sunny but blowin' ...Music Paul Oakenfold Panet Perfecto : 21 radio Streaming.

digital_deviance vers 3 can be found at fusr2.com

Couple of pieces of newish work ....themes are male figures ...mostly nude but then that's how gay guys see the world ... some of the time :D)
http://fuse.easyjournal.com/

possible titles:

my body does this when you look at me"

... and

" this is how you make me feel"

hey tiger draft credit: WHAuden for "Stop all the Clocks"

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I

was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

it encapsualtes a feeling that I empathise with. Though maybe I would challanege the finality of the the last claim.

It's how you feel and you fell this on all occasions you remember the departed but wether it is meant as a mantra for continuing existence then I fear not.

However. it catches that sense of loss inasmuch that everything you do as the survivor of the relationship lacks just that final completeness of satisfaction.

A new job, promotion, succes in sport, theatre/film trips and holidays all just 1% {?} short of total completeness ... so not and emptiness. for that invalidates the pleasures ... none of those is responsible for the death ....but rather inincompleteness ... missing jig saw piece / unfinished meal / piece of music lacking one chord{note]

Platitude is ' ah well. life goes on .. ' but it doesn't for one and if that one was so much for another then the latter is not whole. "I'm going slightly mad ... {Freddy Mercury ?)

one card short of a deck though in this case the card could be the Ace

one link missing the chain

one stair short of a flight

Maybe I didn't love you quite as much as I should

You were always on mind you were always on my mind

losing my mind .. the coffe cup I think about you

standing in the room not going forward not going back

I'd skydive from the moon for you ..... and sail an ocean .... when we held each other tight and you said youwere so happy I was the only person who made you feel glad to be gay not because we were making love at the time ......

drafts :)

perfidious pesecution padding the pained patronage love

the persistance of piercing parted your perfect peace

making the same mistakes again to mutilate your mind

living in the belief that belied the memories you will never find

lost to the lasting lunges of an unrestraining impulse

nearly took all but were left empty-handed

relinquished in that one instant, subsumed

into the rolling breaker that milled to a silt

a rejected soul slipping to unfaced oblivion

the blasted shards, chisled facets scarred

broken, fragmented and splintered,

shards in a deslolate deepening darkness:

could not find the axis to hold totality

but like so much broken glass containing the light

cast down to lie discarded, distressed,

a destitution decaying in dislocated destruction

changed from what you were

mutilated to what you have become

not to seem the same ever

love has become the never

that will be the sever of yourself

once so inviolate; now scattered to a nothing

once so soaring; now clipped in the wing

once so tall; now so low

a seeping, liquidity of nihilism

a shadow-winding shroud that seducts

the strum strung tension: from your skin

the blueness: from your eye

the life: from your smile

the pulse: from your veins

the breath: from your lips

the energy: from your spirit

and the spirit from your soul

for that tiny, tiny,

voice

which is you

we are changed by what we were

we are changed by what we are

we are changed by what we will be

changed by change

distilled, synthesised, clarified essenced and refined

beyond our perception and our small story rises as a saga of unimaginable beauty, unheard, untold yet pulsing through the ether of time ....

but it hurts

hey tiger.... how are you?

better than i was......i guess

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><><>><><><>>

after shock / after storm

there is too much to say

and so many things to ask

and apologies to make

plans to be made and lists to be checked

so many tears to share

and so many fears to allay

and truths to be told

smiles to be given and silences to be filled

so many heart beats to be felt

and so many sighs to soothed

and touches to be shared

breaths to be heard and pulses to be sensed

so many texts to be sent

and emails to be written

and calls to be made

letters to be writ and notes to be exchanged

and none possible without you

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>>><>

separation by distance can be reduced by communication

separation by time can be compensated

separation by time and distance is another dimension

but separation by silence

without the space of distance or time

is a void

<><<<><><><><><><><><><><><><>>><>

blue dolphin

arc of light,

I saw a blue dolphin rise in an arc from the deep sea.

Trailing in its curve single droplets of crystal sea

Tiny diamonds of liquid light lapping its air-smoothed body

Frozen in the twisting arc, yet moving with an intensity of light;

Suporting the un-alloyed joy of the creature as it moved between

Spatial domains and in that moment defined a beauty beyond pale..

Perfection in the completion of the vision maybe, defining a new future.

You were my blue dolphin.

written having seen a photograph in the Thursday G2 edition of the Guardian and read an article on how dolphins "train" men ....(04/07/03)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><>><>>>>><<><>>><><><><><><><

........it happens

found by the patio window

small shivering heap:

those that brought you so low

languidly laying around disinterested;

puzzled by your living stillness

that sat in my hand so trusting.

a located box lined with tissue

an eye-bath of water,

drops taken from my finger

feather warmth skin perceptible.

tilted head seeing beyond

knowing, what I would find,

a pulse ceased in the night,

and morning sounded,

less one delicate strand.

A perfect stillness.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>>

50 nuance de gay 5

50 nuance de gay 3 & 4

50 nuance de gay 1& 2